This week we discussed 'Jealousy.'
Definition- "feeling or showing envy of someone or their achievements or advantages."
Thesaurus- "envious, covetous, possessive."
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Jealousy in the Bible (ERV)
James 4:1-3: "Do you know where your fights and arguments come from? They come from the selfish desires that make war inside you. 2 You want things, but you don’t get them. So you kill and are jealous of others. But you still cannot get what you want. So you argue and fight. You don’t get what you want because you don’t ask God. 3 Or when you ask, you don’t receive anything, because the reason you ask is wrong. You only want to use it for your own pleasure."
Job 5:2- "A fool’s anger will kill him. His jealousy will destroy him."
Proverbs 14:30- "Peace of mind makes the body healthy, but jealousy is like a cancer."
Proverbs 27:4- "Anger is cruel and can destroy like a flood, but jealousy is much worse."
Mark 7:20-23- "And Jesus said, “The things that make people wrong are the things that come from the inside. 21 All these bad things begin inside a person, in the mind: bad thoughts, sexual sins, stealing, murder, 22 adultery, greed, doing bad things to people, lying, doing things that are morally wrong, jealousy, insulting people, proud talking, and foolish living.23 These evil things come from inside a person. And these are the things that make people unacceptable to God.”"
Romans 1:28-32- "People did not think it was important to have a true knowledge of God. So God left them and allowed them to have their own worthless thinking. And so they do what they should not do. 29 They are filled with every kind of sin, evil, greed, and hatred. They are full of jealousy, murder, fighting, lying, and thinking the worst things about each other. They gossip 30 and say evil things about each other. They hate God. They are rude, proud, and brag about themselves. They invent ways of doing evil. They don’t obey their parents..."
Romans 13:13- "We should live in a right way, like people who belong to the day. We should not have wild parties or be drunk. We should not be involved in sexual sin or any kind of immoral behavior. We should not cause arguments and trouble or be jealous."
1 Corinthians 3:3- "You are still not following the Spirit. You are jealous of each other, and you are always arguing with each other. This shows that you are still following your own selfish desires. You are acting like ordinary people of the world."
1 Corinthians 13:4- "Love is patient and kind. Love is not jealous, it does not brag, and it is not proud."
2 Corinthians 12:20- "I do this because I am afraid that when I come, you will not be what I want you to be. And I am afraid that I will not be what you want me to be. I am afraid that I will find arguing, jealousy, anger, selfish fighting, evil talk, gossip, pride, and confusion there."
Galatians 5:19-21- "The wrong things the sinful self does are clear: committing sexual sin, being morally bad, doing all kinds of shameful things, 20 worshiping false gods, taking part in witchcraft, hating people, causing trouble, being jealous, angry or selfish, causing people to argue and divide into separate groups, 21 being filled with envy, getting drunk, having wild parties, and doing other things like this. I warn you now as I warned you before: The people who do these things will not have a part in God’s kingdom"
Galatians 5:24-26- "Those who belong to Christ Jesus have crucified their sinful self. They have given up their old selfish feelings and the evil things they wanted to do. 25 We get our new life from the Spirit, so we should follow the Spirit. 26 We must not feel proud and boast about ourselves. We must not cause trouble for each other or be jealous of each other."
1 Timothy 6:3-5- "Some people will teach what is false and will not agree with the true teaching of our Lord Jesus Christ. They will not accept the teaching that produces a life of devotion to God. 4 They are proud of what they know, but they understand nothing. They are sick with a love for arguing and fighting about words. And that brings jealousy, quarrels, insults, and evil mistrust. 5 They are always making trouble, because they are people whose thinking has been confused. They have lost their understanding of the truth. They think that devotion to God is a way to get rich."
Titus 3:3- "In the past we were foolish too. We did not obey, we were wrong, and we were slaves to the many things our bodies wanted and enjoyed. We lived doing evil and being jealous. People hated us and we hated each other."
James 3:16- "Where there is jealousy and selfishness, there will be confusion and every kind of evil"
1 Peter 2:1- "So then, stop doing anything to hurt others. Don’t lie anymore, and stop trying to fool people. Don’t be jealous or say bad things about others."
And in Genesis 37, we read about how Joseph's brothers became so jealous of Joseph's relationship with his father. They allowed jealousy to burn within them and they designed a plot to kill Joseph. Instead of killing him however, they allowed jealousy to take over and they sold him to traders for 20 pieces of silver. It is scary to think what can happen in our lives when we let jealousy take over our spirits.
Quotes about Jealousy
"Confident women aren't jealous of other women."
"Jealousy is a form of hatred built upon insecurity."
"Jealousy is when you count someone else's blessings instead of your own."
"Jealousy breeds a lack of contentment. It breeds the craving that often cannot be satisfied. God calls us to a life of contentment, even in our relationships."
"Mature love also frees the other to do the things they need to grow in happiness and efficiency. Mature love is non-possessive and non-jealous. It allows the other to get many needs met outside the relationship. These attributes differ from lesser love relationships that state, 'You're free to be anyone you want as long as I approve and you're free to do anything you want as long as I'm included.' A mature lover does not fear losing a loved one because they never owned the loved on in the first place." (Michael Cavanaugh)
"Jealousy is living in captivity. Resting in a trustworthy relationship is freedom."
"Bringing down another woman is something girl's practice. Real women want to see other women win."
"I cheer for people. I was raised to believe there's enough sun for everybody."
"Pay close attention to the people who don't clap when you win." (We don't want to be those people!!!)
"Never do the envy, jealousy, and insecure stuff. Be the hustler, the well-wisher, and the go-getter."
"Confident women don't hate on other women."
"Some people will never support you because they're afraid of what you'll become."
"Successful people build each other up. They motivate, inspire, and push each other. Unsuccessful people just hate, blame, and complain."
"Supporting another's success will never dampen yours."
"When others succeed, you should be happy. If they can do it, so can you. The success of others does not, in any way, lessen the chances of you succeeding. If anything, it should motivate you to keep pushing forward."
Forms of Jealousy:
jealous of other's success
jealous of other's bodies
jealous of how much someone is liked
jealous of relationships
possessive over spouse/friends
What other forms of jealousy can you think of?
Zia Mom Blog about Jealousy
What to do if you're battling with jealousy:
1. Confess you have a problem:
This shows your heart is ready for a change. It's a declaration that you're sick and tired of discontent.
2. Have someone in your corner willing to keep you accountable.
This needs to be someone you have no problem hearing the truth from.
3. Keep your focus on your own lane.
Make a different choice! When you log onto social media, make a decision not to envy post after post. If this means fasting social media, do it. This also involves actively being thankful for what you have. When we are thankful, we declare we have all we need.
4. Find your identity in Christ alone.
Is your identity found in your children? Your marriage? Your career? Your social status? Because if it's found in anything but Christ, we are subject to jealousy and envy.
5. Take God at His Word.
Trust who His Word says you are: You are fearfully and wonderfully made! You are chosen, holy, and beloved! You are His!
5 Signs You are Jealous of a Friend
1. You're not happy at their good news.
2. You try to diminish your friend's accomplishment.
3. You avoid your friend.
4. You do the exact opposite- you are more clingy because you want to act friendly to gain gossip and talk about it with others.
5. You feel the need to compete with your friend.
15 Signs You are Jealous of Someone
15. You're always trying to beat them.
14. You argue with them at any given opportunity.
13. You don't want them to be with anyone.
12. You don't feel happy when good things happen for them.
11. You don't think much of them.
10. You're always trying to one up them.
9. You secretly hope they fail.
8. You think they are better than you.
7. You never give compliments.
6. Or you give back-handed compliments (insert a jab with compliment)
5. You refuse to let anyone else speak nicely of them.
4. You share her bad news with others.
3. You find it hilarious when she does something stupid
2. You don't like her other friends
1. You don't really want to be their friend anymore.
We discussed how jealousy steals our joy and turns us into people that we do not like. We also went around the room and uplifted one another. One root of jealousy is: insecurity. We are insecure in our looks, our personality, our relationships, etc. So we talked about what makes us beautiful-- and we also talked about what we love about our husbands and discussed resting in our relationships with them instead of letting jealousy take over at times.
