Pushing Ourselves Aside: Obedience to Our Husbands

Titus 2:5 states, "To be self-controlled, chaste, homemakers, good-natured (kindhearted), adapting and subordinating themselves to their husbands, that the word of God may not be exposed to reproach (blasphemed or discredited)." (AMP)

Kindness.

We discussed kindness/gentleness last week when we talked about The Fruit of the Spirit. 

Here's a little excerpt from that:

"In 2 Corinthians chapter 6, Paul writes:

"We don’t want people to find anything wrong with our work. So we do nothing that will be a problem to others. But in every way we show that we are servants of God. We never give up, even though we face troubles, difficulties, and problems of every kind. We are beaten and thrown into prison. People get upset at us and fight against us. We work hard, and sometimes we get no sleep or food. We show that we are God’s servants by our pure lives, by our understanding, by our patience, and by our kindness.We show it by the Holy Spirit, by genuine love, by speaking the truth, and by depending on God’s power. This right way of living has prepared us to defend ourselves against every kind of attack." 

What are we showing others today?

"You are never too important to be nice to people."
"Be the reason someone smiles today."
"Our prime purpose in this life is to help others... and if you cannot help them, at least don't hurt them."
"When you have a bad day, a really bad day, try and treat the world a little better than it treated you." [Patrick Stump]
"Be kind to unkind people. They need it most."

All of these sum up our calling. Write these on note cards, post them around your house, in your car.. whatever it takes to remind yourself that the world needs less judgment, less self-righteousness... and a lot more kindness, gentleness, and love."

Jesus, help us to have kindness overflowing out of our hearts today.

Obedience. 

The Titus 2 woman is not only self-controlled, pure, the creator of a peaceful home for her family, and kind--

She is also obedient to her husband.

Now, I know what our human nature is- when we hear the words 'obedient to your husband,' our skin tends to crawl a little bit. Our self rises up out of us and we start thinking-- 'I'm not called to be obedient to anyone. I'm my own person. No one has control over me...' Our human nature tends to take over in that respect...

But God has called us to a life of obedience.

I'll be honest- submission and obedience doesn't always feel good. It is our human nature to want to oppose it from time to time. We want to be in control-- and obedience doesn't always feel like we are the ones in control.

Thankfully, through obedience-- God is the One in control.

Ephesians 5:22 states, "Wives, place yourselves under your husbands’ authority as you have placed yourselves under the Lord’s authority." (NOG)

and Colossians 3:18 says, "Wives, understand and support your husbands by submitting to them in ways that honor the Master."

Obedience is Vital.

The ending of Titus 2:5 states, "....and to obey their own husbands. In this way, the Word of God is honored." 

The Word of God is honored through our obedience--- even when it is tough for us.

1 Samuel 15:22 says, "Samuel said, “Which does the Lord prefer: obedience or offerings and sacrifices? It is better to obey him than to sacrifice the best sheep to him."

The Lord wants our obedience more than He wants our sacrifices. 

I love the Message version of 1 Samuel 15:22 because it is written, "Then Samuel said, Do you think all God wants are sacrifices— empty rituals just for show? He wants you to listen to him! Plain listening is the thing, not staging a lavish religious production. Not doing what God tells you is far worse than fooling around in the occult. Getting self-important around God is far worse than making deals with your dead ancestors. Because you said No to God’s command, he says No to your kingship."

God doesn't care about our rituals and religious acts---- unless we are beginning it with OBEDIENCE.

That is the most important thing to Him.

And one way we can show Him obedience is through obedience to our husbands.

Hierarchy

God designed a hierarchy in our families. He desired for Jesus Christ to be the head of the home- that all decisions, that all plans, that our lives- would be prayed over and that God's perfect will would be sought in all areas. Next, is the husband. God designed the husband to be the leader of the home. He wanted the husband to be the spiritual protector... someone that would keep his family's best interest at heart and guide them in the direction of Jesus Christ. That he would seek God's will in every area of the family's life. Next on the hierarchy is the wife. God designed her to be submitted and respectful to her husband. Jesus didn't say for the wives to be doormats... she isn't 'less' than her husband. He designed her to follow his spiritual guidance which is why Ephesians 5:22 says, "submit yourselves unto your husbands as unto the Lord."

Obedience requires trust- and trusting our husbands should be the foundation of our marriage. We trust Him to keep our family aligned with Jesus Christ and His Word. We trust Him to take care of our hearts and our soul. Through trust, we can be obedient to our family.

Candace Cameron Bure said, "I'd rather be viewed as weak to the world because I'm submissive to my husband than be weak in the Lord because I submit to the views of the world." I feel like this should be our motivation every single day.

Jesus, help us to push our human nature aside and submit to Your Word. You have called us to be obedient and submissive to our husbands (as unto You)... and although we might not FEEL like it some days, Father... help us to see the vitality in it! Help us to see and understand WHY You have called us to this life.

Our human nature will tell us to be powerful- to not listen to our husbands- to ignore the command of the Lord because we are in control of our lives, no one else. However, the Lord has asked us to be respectful, committed, and submissive to our husbands.

Elisabeth Elliot wrote, "Choices will continually be necessary and -- let us not forget-- possible. Obedience to God is always possible. It is a deadly error to fall into the notion that when feelings are extremely strong, we can do nothing but act on them." We have a choice every day-- act on our feelings-- or follow the Word of God.

Jesus, help us follow Your Word. Your Word is full of power and life. It is full of scriptures that lead us to a full, happy, joyful life in You. If it is tough-- if it requires work (obedience, sacrifice, faith...) it is WORTH IT.

The Beauty in Submission.

There is beauty in submission.

Submission says:

I trust you.

I trust God.

Submission encourages us to humble ourselves-- and Jesus said 'The meek will inherit the earth.'

There are promises tied to submission.

God is not calling you to the life of being your husband's servant--

He is calling you to a life of being your husband's help mate, your husband's confidant, your husband's caretaker.

We can be all of this through submission.

Jesus Christ was submissive and endured a horrible death on the cross just for you and me. Look at the beauty that flowed from the greatest sacrifice-- the greatest act of submission..

Imagine what beauty can flow through our marriage if we would submit as well.

Through Submission, We Bring Peace.

I know our days can seem overwhelming, but our husband's days are overwhelming as well. A long work day-- a day full of worry about bills-- a day full of the relenting heat-- a day full of being away from his family-- a day full of little appreciation at his job---

when our husband comes home, we can offer him PEACE through a submissive life. We can offer him an immense amount of LOVE through a submissive life. We can offer him JOY through a submissive life. 

We can bring peace to our entire house through a submissive life.

Submission is not putting the will of the husband before the will of Christ-- it is praying that God will align the will of husband with the will of Christ.

Jesus, help us to be submissive to Your will today- and through that, help us to be submissive to our husbands (when it all aligns to Your Word.) Help us to see the beauty in submission. You said that submission was better than any sacrifice we can offer. Bring peace to our house through submission. We ask that you bring love, joy, and kindness to our home through submission. We love You, Jesus! Amen.

We are CALLED, not burdened. Homemaking is a Ministry.

Titus 2:5 says, "to be sensible, pure, makers of a home [where God is honored], good-natured, being subject to their own husbands, so that the word of God will not be dishonored." (AMP)

Yesterday we discussed self-control and purity of our minds, conversations, hearts, eyes, and ears...

Today, we will be discussing being makers of a home where God is honored.



I've had this discussion many times before-- we live in a day and age where most families need two incomes. Women do not always have the opportunity to stay at home with their children- they are forced to decide between paying the bills and caring for their family 24/7. Paul wrote Titus 2 not to make women feel bad for making the decision to work outside of the home- He wrote Titus 2 to encourage us to be mindful of our home and our family regardless of what is taking place in the outside world. They are our first priority-- we are called to love them and care for them in every way that we can. 

I've also ran in to ladies who say 'I'm just a stay at home Mom' ---- but please know how PRECIOUS this is to Jesus Christ! You are caring for your most prized possessions-- the people God trusted you with. He gave you your husband to love and take care of-- He gave you those babies because He knew there was no one better for that job! And He gave you that beautiful home because He knew that you could keep it God-centered, organized, and happy!

Colossians 3:17 states, " Surely, no matter what you are doing (speaking, writing, or working), do it all in the name of Jesus our Master, sending thanks through Him to God our Father." (Voice)

Whatever we do-- whether it is being a homemaker or a lawyer or a waitress-- whatever we do, we are asked to do it all in the name of Jesus Christ. We are called to take pride in our work- to do it diligently and honestly. 

Pinterest has a plethora of information-- and blogs! One of my favorite blogs discusses the ministry of homemaking. It truly opened my eyes to the calling of Jesus Christ and how God designed us to be the caretakers of our family. It may seem like a large burden at times, but I beg you to pray to Jesus and ask Him to shift your mindset from the burden you sometimes may feel to the BLESSING that you are to your family. He trusted YOU. He didn't want anyone else in your position. He knew You could handle this- He knew you could do this. And He has called us to honor Him in every word, action, and activity.

I have struggled with this so many times. Some days I felt like the burden of motherhood is too much for me to bare. I would snap instantly- have a horrible temper- spew words of aggravation from my mouth- think about how much my family owes me for what I do- make them feel guilty for all that I *HAD* to do that day....

And God would convict me over and over.

I didn't call you to be spiteful, bitter, aggressive, rude, overbearing, or arrogant. I called you to love with all your heart- I called you to be caring- I called you to be gentle- I called you to be loving- I called you to create a peaceful environment for your family.

In this blog 'The Ministry of Homemaking,' the author writes: 

"Homemaking is so much more than cleaning a house, cooking food, and making sure your family has clothes to wear. Homemaking is about nurturing a spirit of warmth, comfort, and love in your home." 



Homemaking is so much more than vacuumed floors and clean dishes-- homemaking is about creating a home, an environment that is conducive for God to be present.. for Him to operate.. for Him to spread His love.

Cleaning is a Ministry

One of the first things women think of when they think about being a homemaker is- a clean home.

Bree from 'Faithfully Committed' wrote a blog about The Ministry of Homemaking as well. In this blog she wrote:

"As I got older, I slowly began to realize that there is a connection between chaos in the home and chaos in the family. It’s really difficult to relax and feel content when everything around you is a mess. But something still seemed to be missing in my understanding of homemaking."

We have the ability to affect our entire household just by the nature of our homes. Think about how you feel when your house is a mess--- you probably feel stressed, like you cannot relax. Think about how you feel when your entire house is clean- you feel calm, your house feels at peace. I know the mornings when my husband's laundry is completely caught up, the house is clean, dishes are done-- our mornings run a lot smoother and peace flows through the home. When things are behind, rushing occurs which leads to emotions running wild.

We want our homes to be an oasis for our family. We want our husbands to crave being there with us-- we want him to find peace and solitude when he walks through the door. Of course, the kids may be crying when he comes home, you may be behind on dinner because of the needs of your children, but for the most part--- we want our husband to come home to a house that he can relax in and unwind from a long day. If the wife works outside of the home, I am sure you want the same when you come home. This is why it is a priority for us to care for our homes in every sense of the word. Cleaning is a ministry- taking care of our homes is a ministry to Jesus Christ.

Caring for our Family is a Ministry

Bree continues to write, "Homemaking is about creating a peaceful, loving, Christ-centered environment where your family can come to get away from the everyday pressures and stresses of this world."

Even if our house is clean, that doesn't mean there is a peaceful, loving, Christ-centered atmosphere for our family.

It is not only our beautiful responsibility to care for the home (cleaning, laundry, dishes) but it is also our responsibility to pray for the members of our family, plead the blood over their lives, usher the presence of God in every single morning. Mommas- our prayers are powerful! They have the ability to cover our family. We must remember our PRECIOUS and IMPORTANT we are to God Almighty! He called us to care for the souls of our family. To be an example. To be praying for our husbands, our children... before their feet hit the floor in the morning. 

We can do this by playing worship music in the morning, praying at the kitchen table, reading the Word of God on the porch swing... we are the catalyst for a positive, encouraging day for our family. We cannot forget our role. We are CALLED-- not burdened. We are NEEDED-- not forgotten. We are BLESSED- not overwhelmed.


Proverbs 14:1 says, "The wise woman builds her house [on a foundation of godly precepts, and her household thrives], But the foolish one [who lacks spiritual insight] tears it down with her own hands [by ignoring godly principles]." (AMP)

Proverbs 14:1- "A wise woman ·strengthens her family [builds her house], but a foolish woman ·destroys hers by what she does [tears hers down with her own hands]." (EXB)

A wise woman STRENGTHENS her family. A wise woman BUILDS her house. A wise woman ESTABLISHES a foundation of GODLINESS. 

A foolish woman TEARS it down. A foolish woman DESTROYS her home. A foolish woman IGNORES godliness.



Jesus, help us to be wise women today! Help us to remember our worth! You have called us to care for our family-- you have called us to create a clean, peaceful atmosphere for our husbands and our children. We are BLESSED today, Jesus--- You have not burdened us-- you have CALLED us to a ministry that pleases You. We have the ability to be examples to our family. We have the opportunity to raise them in godly principles-- teaching them how to love You and honor You! Help us to never forget our calling. We love You lamb of God.

Purity of the Heart, Mind, Eyes, and Ears.

Titus 2:5 states, "....to be self-controlled, pure, working at home, kind, and submissive to their own husbands, that the word of God may not be reviled." (ESV)

There is a blog on 'Allowing Grace' that discusses self-control. Just click the link if you are interested in reading that! Self-control is one of the fruits of the spirit. Proverbs 25:28 states, "Like a conquered city with no walls, so is a man who has no self-control." (The Voice) A conquered city with no walls means that the area is no longer what it once was. Where once, families felt safe inside those walls, sleeping peacefully at night, organization, everything running on a schedule-- now, the city was being run by new occupants, taking what they want, ruining lives, taking away the peace and safeness they once felt. This is what it is like when we have zero self-control. We let other things take over our lives- our hearts- our spirits- and eventually, they are no longer our own.

We are called to have self-control and to be pure.

According to the dictionary, 'pure is described as, "free from foreign or inappropriate elements." Similar words are: flawless, real, natural, undiluted, authentic.

It is important to remember that purity is more than just sexual matters-- purity is about the purity of our heart and spirit, our mind, our eyes, our ears, our conversations.

The Purity of the Heart and Spirit.

Matthew 5:8 states, "Blessed are those whose hearts are pure. They will see God." (NIRV) Another version of Matthew 5:8 states, "Blessed be they that be of clean heart, for they shall see God." (WYC)

Blessed are those with pure hearts-- with hearts that are clean.

In Psalms 51, David cries out "Create in me a clean heart, O God. And restore within me a sense of being brand new." (The Voice)

This needs to be our prayer every single day- forgive us for our sins Jesus... rid us of anything within our hearts that is not of You.. clean us up, Jesus! Restore a new spirit within us! 

We cannot live a pure life if our hearts are not pure- that is our first step. If our spirit is dirty, unclean, unrepentant--- He cannot move in our lives.

The first step to a pure heart is repentance: turning from sin and dedication to the amendment of one's life; sincere regret or remorse.

Jeremiah 31:9 states, " Listen, as they come home weeping and repenting,
        praying for direction, pleading for mercy as I bring them back.
    In that day I will lead them beside quiet streams of water
        and take them upon a straight path where they will not stumble.
    Why? Because I am Israel’s father, and Ephraim is My firstbornson."

I feel like this is where I had to get to start purifying my heart and soul-- I had to weep, I had to beg for forgiveness, I had to plead for mercy, I had to ask Him to take me back..... I had to pour out all of the bad that was within me so He could start washing me and making me whole again.

The Purity of the Mind.

One of my favorite quotes states, "I had to evict some thoughts a hundred times before they would stay out. I have never been successful until I have put something edifying [moral] in their place." [Boyd K. Packer]

The mind is our greatest battlefield when it comes to spiritual matters. A lot of our fears would be erased if we could control our thoughts.

One great way to subject our thoughts to Jesus Christ is to do as 1 Thessalonians 5:17 states-- pray constantly. Now, this doesn't mean that you have to be on your hands and knees all day long praying. This means that we consistently keep our minds on Jesus Christ and what is precious and holy in His sight. Since God started me on this journey with Him, I find myself through out the day just saying, "Jesus, Jesus, Jesus..." or singing songs to Him. I'll wake up some mornings with worship music on my heart. Before speaking, I try and pray-- rest-- be.. so I know that He will be in my words. I'm not perfect at all of this, but I am trying.

I read "12 Strategies to Win the Battlefield in the Mind" and I wanted to share it with you.

1. I Can do whatever I need to do in life through Jesus Christ.

2. God loves me unconditionally!

3. I will not live in fear.

4. I am difficult to offend.

5. I love people and I enjoy helping them.

6. I trust God completely; there is no need to worry.

7. I am content and emotionally stable.

8. God meets all my needs abundantly.

9. I pursue peace with God, myself, and others.

10. I love in the present and enjoy each moment.

11. I am disciplined and self-controlled.

12. I put God first in my life.

Fear, anger, bitterness, offences, lack of self control, putting other things first... all of these can steal our peace and purity of mind. We must be consistently working at it.

The Purity of Our Eyes.

Psalms 101:3 states, "I will not put anything wicked in front of my eyes. I hate what unfaithful people do. I want no part of it." (NOG)

The eyes are the window to the soul.... what we see can damage our very being. We must learn to protect our eyes from seeing the filth of this world.

Matthew writes, "The eye is the lamp of the body. If your eyes are healthy, your whole body will be full of light." (Matthew 6:22, NIV)

If our eyes are healthy-- if we are setting appropriate, holy, good things before our eyes--- our whole body will be healthy and full of light.

If our eyes are unhealthy-- if we are setting inappropriate, unholy, sin-filled things before our eyes--- our whole body will be unhealthy and full of darkness.

What do you want to fill your life with? Goodness- light-- holiness. or  Evil-- darkness- unholiness. A lot of it goes back to what we are watching.. what we are letting enter in to our souls.

The Purity of Our Ears and Conversations.

Our conversations have a great deal of impact on our souls. Ever notice if you sit around and complain and gripe-- your soul feels dirty after-- you feel a heavy weight on your shoulders. What we give in to-- what we talk about-- what we feed--

it changes us.


Psalms 19:14 states, "Let my words and my thoughts be pleasing to you, Lord, because you are my mighty rock and my protector." (CEV)

I believe we could also include 'let the words I hear' in this verse as well since what we hear typically determines our thoughts-- Lord, let our words, thoughts, and conversations be pleasing to You. 

Psalms 37:30 states, "The mouths of those who do what is right speak words of wisdom. They say what is honest." (NIRV)

I also believe this includes 'conversations'... the conversations of those who do what is right speak wisdom. God, help us guard our ears and our mouths.

Matthew 12:36-37 says, "“You serpent’s brood, how can you say anything good out of your evil hearts? For a man’s words depend on what fills his heart. A good man gives out good—from the goodness stored in his heart; a bad man gives out evil—from his store of evil. I tell you that men will have to answer at the day of judgment for every careless word they utter—for it is your words that will acquit you, and your words that will condemn you.” (Phillips)

I believe this also reflects what we are listening to. What are we choosing to hear from other's? Are we hearing evil? Are we listening to them tear down others? Are we hearing things that can damage our souls?

We must maintain the purity of our ears and our conversations. 


God has called us to protect our minds-- our hearts-- our souls. It is our job. We can do this through prayer- through meditating on Him-- through trusting Him. We are not equipped as humans to handle this on our own-- it can only be done through a constant mindset of Jesus Christ.

What are we allowing in to our lives today? What are we speaking? What are we hearing? What are we watching?

And how is it affecting our lives?

The Inner Voice of Our Children.

Titus 2:4 states, "....so that you can teach what is good 4 to young women. Be a positive example, showing them what it is to love their husbands and children," (The Voice)

We talked about loving our husbands in our previous blog post-- today we will be discussing loving our children.



I think the biggest thing for me is: I LOVE my children. Without a doubt. No strings attached. 

However.

It all goes back to 1 Corinthians 13. 

I don't show them the appropriate LOVE all of the time.


Love is Patient.

This is the kicker right here. I have about zero patience most of the time when it comes to dealing with my children. The second they start acting up, I feel like I start losing my temper. And I dislike this so much about myself. Love is supposed to be patient- and most of the time, I'm just this ranting, screaming lunatic-- instead of a patient, kind Momma.

I know I want Jesus to have patience with me. If He didn't, He would probably be ready to kick me to the curb by now. So why do I expect God Almighty to be patient with me, but I can't exercise anything close to that for my children?

God- fix my spirit. Please help me to stop sweating the small things. Help me to be patient with them as you are patient with me. Help me to love like You Jesus.

L. R. Knost stated, "When little people are overwhelmed by big emotions, it's our job to share our calm, not join in their chaos." 

I'm going to print that off and post it everywhere so I can see it and remember it every single day. I need to share HIS calm.. HIS peace... and quit joining in the chaos. My yelling never fixes the situation- it only makes for more stress and a less peace environment.

Love is Kind.

One thing God has been dealing with lately is how I speak to my children.

As sad as it sounds, I have been guilty of saying things like: "You're getting on my nerves," "You are driving me insane!!!", and "You are annoying me!" It makes me sick to my stomach when I say those words out loud-- God has been convicting me over and over again because of the words I choose to speak to my children.

"The way we talk to our children becomes their inner voice."

"Speak to your children as if they are the wisest, kindest, most beautiful and magical humans on earth, for what they believe is what they become." (Brooke Hampton)

What we speak to our children becomes their inner voice.....

What would the inner voice of our child be at this point in their lives?

It breaks my heart to think my children's voice would be "I get on my mom's nerves" "I'm annoying."

Love is kind-- I need to be kind to my children. It is so easy to speak whatever to our children because we think A) they probably don't understand most of it and B) they won't be allowed to retaliate back.

But that doesn't mean they don't deserve our respect all the same.

Love Doesn't Boast, Brag. It is not Arrogant.

"I just sat down."
"I do so much for you guys, help me out."

As a Mother, I felt like all I did was brag about what I'd done around the house. Guys, I already got you drinks. Guys, I made you dinner, eat it. Guys, I already took you outside. Guys... I, I, I, I, I!

Why did I have to be a Mother that fed in to my emotions-- if I was upset, aggravated, or stressed.... I seemed to take it out on my children-- and that wasn't fair to them. They didn't deserve that. They deserved a Mother that was loving (correcting, yes, but not miserable.)

Love is Not Rude.

I feel like I am rude to my children at times. I roll my eyes at them. And if God has convicted me for rolling my eyes and constantly nagging my husband... then that conviction should be applied to my children as well. Just because they are younger doesn't mean they don't deserve kindness and their Momma to be polite to them.

Love is Not Easily Angered.

Well, that one broke my heart even more because some days-- I get angry just waking up. And I hate that about myself. Some days I wake up in a rough mood. Some days I wake up and I'm instantly annoyed-- and quite frankly, my babies don't deserve that.

"If another can easily anger you, it is because you are off balance with yourself."

And how true is this?

When I'm peace with myself-- I'm a better Mother.
When I'm stressed-- I'm a worse Mother because I let my emotions get the best of me.

Fill Your Cup.

"Remember to take care of yourself. You can't pour from an empty cup."

I think this is the issue for many mothers-- at least I know it is for me.

I don't do a great job at taking care of myself and I surely don't try and make my mental and emotional health a priority at times.

I'll rush 2 minute showers. I won't leave the home without my children for days at a time. I won't do the things I enjoy. I won't heal my soul from a long day.

Another great analogy I read is:

"Your job is to fill your own cup so it overflows. Then you can serve others, joyfully, from your saucer." [Lisa Nichols]

Are we filling our cups every morning or are we continually running on empty?

My Morning Routine.

Because of the miserable person I was becoming-- I realized I needed a change in my life. 

God showed me that I needed to start my morning off with HIM so I could fill my cup with the good things-- the things I needed as a stay at home Mother of three young children: love, joy, peace, patience, self-control, a humble spirit, goodness, gentleness.

If He filled my cup with that, it would overflow on to my saucer and I could fill those around me with the same things. 

How we start our morning has a great effect on how the rest of our day goes. If we fill it with rushing, anger, bitterness... our day may very well be full of that. If we fill it with love, joy, peace, worship... our day may very well be full of that.


God, please help me to fill my heart with Your love, Your peace, Your goodness, Your gentleness every single morning so I can treat my children the same way! I want to be so full of the fruit of the spirit that it spills over in to my parenting. Help me to respect my children and treat them with patience, kindness, humbleness, and gentleness.

How we speak to our children-- how we treat our children-- it becomes their inner voice.

What would the inner voice of our children speak today?