2 Timothy 3:15-17 says, "You have known the Holy Scriptures[a] since you were a child. These Scriptures are able to make you wise. And that wisdom leads to salvation through faith in Christ Jesus. All Scripture is given by God. And all Scripture is useful for teaching and for showing people what is wrong in their lives. It is useful for correcting faults and teaching the right way to live. Using the Scriptures, those who serve God will be prepared and will have everything they need to do every good work." (ERV)
This verse is wonderful because it shows that we can learn so much from the Word of God, but we have to humble ourselves enough to accept what it is trying to teach us and reveal to us.
"The sign of great parenting is not the child's behavior. The sign of great parenting is the parent's behavior." (Andy Smithson)
We then went around the room and discussed what we feel like we need to work on as parents.
The first thing we discussed was being a Co-Parent as this is a journey many have to take in today's world. We even reflected on the fact that we are all co-parents, even if we are married to our parenting partner. We must be careful to be respectful of our partner-- whether we are married or separated.
We found some great quotes surrounding this topic:
1.
PARALLEL PARENTING: minimal communication, little to no consistency between homes, may be used in high conflict situations, little to no flexibility for children
COOPERATIVE PARENTING: regular communication, consistency between homes, parents work together to raise children, flexibility for children and parents
2.
"Your children are watching you very, very closely. Showing your children that you can respect each other and resolve conflict respectfully will give them a good foundation for the conflict that arises in their own lives. Do your best to remain relaxed and focused, use a calm tone of voice, and a concerned facial expression when tensions rise."
3.
"Co-parenting is not a competition. It's a collaboration of two homes working together with the best interest of the child at heart. Work for your kids, not against them."
4.
"Who cares if another woman or man loves your child, plays with your child, or builds a healthy relationship with your child--- either way your child is benefiting. Did you read that?? YOUR CHILD IS BENEFITING. That's what's important- nothing else." [Jessica James]
5.
"A step-parent doesn't just marry a spouse: they marry their spouse's entire situation. They have to fin a balance between supporting and defending without overstepping visible and invisible boundaries."
6.
"A narcissist will never co-parent with you. They will counter parent. They don't care about the emotional damage that the constant drama inflicts upon the children as long as it causes emotional drama to you." [A. Price]
7.
The best security blanket a child can have is parents who respect each other.
8.
What kind of co-parent are you?
SUPPORTIVE: speak positively about coparent in front of child, encourage child to spend time with co-parent, respectful of co-parent and their time with child
DESTRUCTIVE- Speak negatively about co-parent in front of child, discourage time with co-parent and put them down, sabotage time with child by calling obsessively and being disruptive
9.
It is sad how many parents put their revenge agendas ahead of their child's well-being. Kids deserve as many people loving them as possible-- without being made to feel guilty about it. [Jenna Korf]
Even if we are married, we must be sure that we are not tearing down our parenting partner in front of our children. Respect them at all times.
Next, we discussed ways to PRAY for our children.
1. We can pray for their SALVATION: Pray for a heart of repentance as they grow and for the Holy Spirit to fill them and permeate their life. Salvation is a promise available to you and your children according to Acts 2:38-39 (Peter said to them, “Change your hearts and lives and be baptized, each one of you, in the name of Jesus Christ. Then God will forgive your sins, and you will receive the gift of the Holy Spirit. This promise is for you. It is also for your children and for the people who are far away. It is for everyone the Lord our God calls to himself.”)
2. We can pray for a LOVE FOR THE WORD: Pray for them to have a deep love for the Word of God. May they delight in it and meditate on it day and night. May they find it more precious than gold and sweeter than honey as Psalms 19:10 says, "His teachings are worth more than pure gold. They are sweeter than the best honey dripping from the honeycomb."
3. We can pray for PROTECTION: Pray for protection in their body as well as in their mind. Pray for protection online and from impure images on social media, the web, books, and magazines. Read 2 Thessalonians 3:3 "But the Lord is faithful. He will give you strength and protect you from the Evil One."
4. We can pray for DIRECTION: Pray their steps are ordered by the Lord, He directs and guides them, they have a heart for the things of God, and they seek His direction as they make choices on their own. Read Psalms 37:23- The Lord shows us how we should live, and he is pleased when he sees people living that way.
5. We can pray for THANKFULNESS: Pray a prayer of thankfulness for the children He has given you, and let your children hear you express gratitude for them. Read 1 Samuel 1:27- I prayed for this child, and the Lord answered my prayer. He gave me this child. (LIKEABUBBLINGBROOK.COM)
"The way we talk to our children becomes their inner voice."
We also discussed 7 suggestions for raising your children God's way:
1. Build your faith into everyday moments. (Deuteronomy 6:7- Be sure to teach them to your children. Talk about these commands when you sit in your house and when you walk on the road. Talk about them when you lie down and when you get up.)
2. Bring every matter back to the condition of your child's heart. (Proverbs 4:23- Above all, be careful what you think because your thoughts control your life.
3. Model a life of relationship with Christ. Titus 2:7- You should be an example for them in every way by the good things you do. When you teach, be honest and serious.
4. Pray with your children. Luke 18:1- Then Jesus taught the followers that they should always pray and never lose hope. He used this story to teach them:
5. Study His Word with your children. 3 John 4- It always gives me the greatest joy when I hear that my children are following the way of truth.
6. Worship Jesus with all your heart. Psalms 66:4- Let the whole world worship you. Let everyone sing praises to your name.
7. Listen to Him. John 10:27- My sheep listen to my voice. I know them, and they follow me.
The next thing we discussed was being a PATIENT parent and how we sometimes struggle with that.
Ephesians 4:1-2 says, "So, as a prisoner for the Lord, I beg you to live the way God’s people should live, because he chose you to be his. Always be humble and gentle. Be patient and accept each other with love."
"A moment of patience in a moment of anger saves you a hundred moments of regret."
Patience is one of the fruits of the spirit-- it should be something we seek every single day, especially when it comes to our children.
"When the milk is splattered all over the floor, and those little eyes are looking at you for your reaction, remember what really matters. It takes 5 minutes to clean up spilled milk. It takes much longer to clean up a broken spirit." [Rebecca Eanes]
"Anger will happen. Frustration will come. But how we handle ourselves is up to us. What is the best for your child? A mother who controls herself. What is even better for a child? A mother who turns to God to ask Him to help her control herself more." [Tricia Goyer]
The next thing we discussed was creating a POSITIVE home life.
It is our duty to create a positive home life for our children and our husbands.
Think about your own life growing up. Some might have had a peaceful upbringing and that is something to be thankful for and reflect. Some might have had a negative, stressful home life. And that is something to learn from. Which do you want for your children?
Becoming a positive mother (according to LivingAndLifeDesigned)
1. Praise and encouragement.
Children connect with you when they're encouraged with compliments, constructive praise, and feedback. They shut down when their abilities are criticized and they are not commended for hard work/job well done.
2. Show them your love.
It is important to show affection to children even they have done something wrong. This reinforces unconditional love.
3. Stop negative talk.
Words like stupid, fat, ugly, and dumb should have no place in your home whether they're being spoken about you or someone else. Our homes should be a safe haven for our children.
4. Set a good example.
Children learn from their parents how to act, treat others, talk to themselves... have you heard your children say something devastating and you think "They've heard me say that before..." We need to be a positive example, Mommas.
5. Spend time together.
The best and most effective way to build children up and show them that their home is a safe and loving place is through spending quality time together.
Next, we discussed how to be HAPPY moms!
Happy Mommas:
1. Take time for themselves
2. Encourage their children to be kind
3. They do things that make them feel happy without feeling guilty- you can't fill from an empty vessel
4. They leave dirty dishes in the sink sometimes (don't feel guilty about relaxing after dinner)
5. They pray- this gives them a better attitude and brings more positive energy
6. They strive with being authentic-- they don't spend time comparing themselves to other moms
7. They yell less
8. They invest time in their marriages
"Where did we ever get the crazy idea that in order to make children do better, first we have to make them feel worse? Think of the last time you felt humiliated or treated unfairly. Did you feel like cooperating or doing better?" [Jane Nelson]
"Our children are watching how we live far more than they are hearing what we say. They are learning how to live by our choices, not our words." [L.R. Knost]
"I know how hard it is and that you're frustrated, but you have to remember that a mom sets the tone for her household. The mood of your family will ultimately reflect your own. If you're crabby, chances are they will be too!" [Living Well, Spending Less]
"A great way to set your mood is through reading the Word of God and worshipping as soon as you get up." [Time with God]
Here are 9 other ideas on how to create a home of warmth and grace [by "The Better Mom" blog]
1. Get rest
2. Simplify schedules. (allow margins of rest, fun, and togetherness so you aren't burnt out from running)
3. Clutter busting. (pick up through the day so your home doesn't overwhelm you later)
4. Give up perfection. (Don't put too high expectations on yourself.)
5. Meal plan (when you know what's for dinner everyday it brings less stress-lowers panic mode)
6. Have "Mom Time Out" (go to your bedroom and read, take a bath, shop, go on a date with your significant other, do a hobby)
7. Play music (This can help your children calm down, lighten the mood, enhance fun)
8. Give grace for limitations (communicate with your children and husband when you are feeling well, tired, etc.)
9. Scripture memory (memorize scriptures as a family, with your children, or by yourself. Use these to combat an angry spirit.)
We hope you enjoyed our weekly Bible study! I think this helped all of us in areas that we are currently struggling!
Next week we will be discussing jealousy!
God bless!
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