Week 8 Bible Study: Godly Parenting

2 Timothy 3:15-17 says, "You have known the Holy Scriptures[a] since you were a child. These Scriptures are able to make you wise. And that wisdom leads to salvation through faith in Christ Jesus. All Scripture is given by God. And all Scripture is useful for teaching and for showing people what is wrong in their lives. It is useful for correcting faults and teaching the right way to live. Using the Scriptures, those who serve God will be prepared and will have everything they need to do every good work." (ERV)

This verse is wonderful because it shows that we can learn so much from the Word of God, but we have to humble ourselves enough to accept what it is trying to teach us and reveal to us. 

"The sign of great parenting is not the child's behavior. The sign of great parenting is the parent's behavior." (Andy Smithson) 

We then went around the room and discussed what we feel like we need to work on as parents. 

The first thing we discussed was being a Co-Parent as this is a journey many have to take in today's world. We even reflected on the fact that we are all co-parents, even if we are married to our parenting partner. We must be careful to be respectful of our partner-- whether we are married or separated. 

We found some great quotes surrounding this topic:

1. 

PARALLEL PARENTING: minimal communication, little to no consistency between homes, may be used in high conflict situations, little to no flexibility for children 

COOPERATIVE PARENTING: regular communication, consistency between homes, parents work together to raise children, flexibility for children and parents

2. 

"Your children are watching you very, very closely. Showing your children that you can respect each other and resolve conflict respectfully will give them a good foundation for the conflict that arises in their own lives. Do your best to remain relaxed and focused, use a calm tone of voice, and a concerned facial expression when tensions rise." 

3. 

"Co-parenting is not a competition. It's a collaboration of two homes working together with the best interest of the child at heart. Work for your kids, not against them."

4. 

"Who cares if another woman or man loves your child, plays with your child, or builds a healthy relationship with your child--- either way your child is benefiting. Did you read that?? YOUR CHILD IS BENEFITING. That's what's important- nothing else." [Jessica James]

5. 

"A step-parent doesn't just marry a spouse: they marry their spouse's entire situation. They have to fin a balance between supporting and defending without overstepping visible and invisible boundaries." 

6.

"A narcissist will never co-parent with you. They will counter parent. They don't care about the emotional damage that the constant drama inflicts upon the children as long as it causes emotional drama to you." [A. Price]

7.

The best security blanket a child can have is parents who respect each other.

8.

What kind of co-parent are you?

SUPPORTIVE: speak positively about coparent in front of child, encourage child to spend time with co-parent, respectful of co-parent and their time with child

DESTRUCTIVE- Speak negatively about co-parent in front of child, discourage time with co-parent and put them down, sabotage time with child by calling obsessively and being disruptive

9.

It is sad how many parents put their revenge agendas ahead of their child's well-being. Kids deserve as many people loving them as possible-- without being made to feel guilty about it. [Jenna Korf]


Even if we are married, we must be sure that we are not tearing down our parenting partner in front of our children. Respect them at all times. 
Next, we discussed ways to PRAY for our children.

1. We can pray for their SALVATION: Pray for a heart of repentance as they grow and for the Holy Spirit to fill them and permeate their life. Salvation is a promise available to you and your children according to Acts 2:38-39 (Peter said to them, “Change your hearts and lives and be baptized, each one of you, in the name of Jesus Christ. Then God will forgive your sins, and you will receive the gift of the Holy Spirit. This promise is for you. It is also for your children and for the people who are far away. It is for everyone the Lord our God calls to himself.”)

2. We can pray for a LOVE FOR THE WORD: Pray for them to have a deep love for the Word of God. May they delight in it and meditate on it day and night. May they find it more precious than gold and sweeter than honey as Psalms 19:10 says, "His teachings are worth more than pure gold. They are sweeter than the best honey dripping from the honeycomb."

3. We can pray for PROTECTION: Pray for protection in their body as well as in their mind. Pray for protection online and from impure images on social media, the web, books, and magazines. Read 2 Thessalonians 3:3 "But the Lord is faithful. He will give you strength and protect you from the Evil One."

4. We can pray for DIRECTION: Pray their steps are ordered by the Lord, He directs and guides them, they have a heart for the things of God, and they seek His direction as they make choices on their own. Read Psalms 37:23- The Lord shows us how we should live, and he is pleased when he sees people living that way.

5. We can pray for THANKFULNESS: Pray a prayer of thankfulness for the children He has given you, and let your children hear you express gratitude for them. Read 1 Samuel 1:27-  I prayed for this child, and the Lord answered my prayer. He gave me this child. (LIKEABUBBLINGBROOK.COM)

"The way we talk to our children becomes their inner voice."

We also discussed 7 suggestions for raising your children God's way:

1. Build your faith into everyday moments. (Deuteronomy 6:7- Be sure to teach them to your children. Talk about these commands when you sit in your house and when you walk on the road. Talk about them when you lie down and when you get up.)

2. Bring every matter back to the condition of your child's heart. (Proverbs 4:23- Above all, be careful what you think because your thoughts control your life.

3. Model a life of relationship with Christ. Titus 2:7- You should be an example for them in every way by the good things you do. When you teach, be honest and serious.

4. Pray with your children. Luke 18:1- Then Jesus taught the followers that they should always pray and never lose hope. He used this story to teach them:

5. Study His Word with your children. 3 John 4- It always gives me the greatest joy when I hear that my children are following the way of truth.

6. Worship Jesus with all your heart. Psalms 66:4- Let the whole world worship you. Let everyone sing praises to your name.

7. Listen to Him. John 10:27- My sheep listen to my voice. I know them, and they follow me.



The next thing we discussed was being a PATIENT parent and how we sometimes struggle with that.

Ephesians 4:1-2 says, "So, as a prisoner for the Lord, I beg you to live the way God’s people should live, because he chose you to be his. Always be humble and gentle. Be patient and accept each other with love."

"A moment of patience in a moment of anger saves you a hundred moments of regret."

Patience is one of the fruits of the spirit-- it should be something we seek every single day, especially when it comes to our children.

"When the milk is splattered all over the floor, and those little eyes are looking at you for your reaction, remember what really matters. It takes 5 minutes to clean up spilled milk. It takes much longer to clean up a broken spirit." [Rebecca Eanes]

"Anger will happen. Frustration will come. But how we handle ourselves is up to us. What is the best for your child? A mother who controls herself. What is even better for a child? A mother who turns to God to ask Him to help her control herself more." [Tricia Goyer]


The next thing we discussed was creating a POSITIVE home life.

It is our duty to create a positive home life for our children and our husbands. 

Think about your own life growing up. Some might have had a peaceful upbringing and that is something to be thankful for and reflect. Some might have had a negative, stressful home life. And that is something to learn from. Which do you want for your children?

Becoming a positive mother (according to LivingAndLifeDesigned)

1. Praise and encouragement.

Children connect with you when they're encouraged with compliments, constructive praise, and feedback. They shut down when their abilities are criticized and they are not commended for hard work/job well done.

2. Show them your love.

It is important to show affection to children even they have done something wrong. This reinforces unconditional love.

3. Stop negative talk.

Words like stupid, fat, ugly, and dumb should have no place in your home whether they're being spoken about you or someone else. Our homes should be a safe haven for our children.

4. Set a good example.

Children learn from their parents how to act, treat others, talk to themselves... have you heard your children say something devastating and you think "They've heard me say that before..." We need to be a positive example, Mommas.

5. Spend time together.

The best and most effective way to build children up and show them that their home is a safe and loving place is through spending quality time together.


Next, we discussed how to be HAPPY moms!

Happy Mommas:

1. Take time for themselves
2. Encourage their children to be kind
3. They do things that make them feel happy without feeling guilty- you can't fill from an empty vessel
4. They leave dirty dishes in the sink sometimes (don't feel guilty about relaxing after dinner)
5. They pray- this gives them a better attitude and brings more positive energy
6. They strive with being authentic-- they don't spend time comparing themselves to other moms
7. They yell less
8. They invest time in their marriages


"Where did we ever get the crazy idea that in order to make children do better, first we have to make them feel worse? Think of the last time you felt humiliated or treated unfairly. Did you feel like cooperating or doing better?" [Jane Nelson]

"Our children are watching how we live far more than they are hearing what we say. They are learning how to live by our choices, not our words." [L.R. Knost]

"I know how hard it is and that you're frustrated, but you have to remember that a mom sets the tone for her household. The mood of your family will ultimately reflect your own. If you're crabby, chances are they will be too!" [Living Well, Spending Less]

"A great way to set your mood is through reading the Word of God and worshipping as soon as you get up." [Time with God]

Here are 9 other ideas on how to create a home of warmth and grace [by "The Better Mom" blog]

1. Get rest
2. Simplify schedules. (allow margins of rest, fun, and togetherness so you aren't burnt out from running)
3. Clutter busting. (pick up through the day so your home doesn't overwhelm you later)
4. Give up perfection. (Don't put too high expectations on yourself.)
5. Meal plan (when you know what's for dinner everyday it brings less stress-lowers panic mode)
6. Have "Mom Time Out" (go to your bedroom and read, take a bath, shop, go on a date with your significant other, do a hobby)
7. Play music (This can help your children calm down, lighten the mood, enhance fun)
8. Give grace for limitations (communicate with your children and husband when you are feeling well, tired, etc.)
9. Scripture memory (memorize scriptures as a family, with your children, or by yourself. Use these to combat an angry spirit.)

We hope you enjoyed our weekly Bible study! I think this helped all of us in areas that we are currently struggling!

Next week we will be discussing jealousy!

God bless! 

Love Does Not Give Up On People

1 Corinthians 13:7 states, "Love never gives up on people. It never stops trusting, never loses hope, and never quits." (ERV)

According to Psychology Today, "In 2010, Paul Amato published a review of research on divorce in the prestigious Journal of Marriage and Family. Here is the key take-away: 'At the end of the 20th century, 43% to 46% of marriages were predicted to end in dissolution. Because a small percentage of marriages end in permanent separation rather than divorce, the common belief that about half of all marriages are voluntarily disrupted is a reasonable approximation.'" (LINK)

Now, I first want to start off by saying that if you've been through a divorce, I am in no way judging you for this decision. I know there are circumstances where a marriage is no longer capable of working due to various reasons. You had to make the decision you made for you and your children-- and only you and God know how important this decision was.

Today, I do want to focus on marriages and the importance in not giving up on them.

I read a quote once that stated, "More marriages might survive if couples realized that sometimes the 'better' comes after the 'worse.'" And how true is this? Marriage is full of ups and downs. Our spouses may go through difficult times-- they may change- they may face terrible circumstances-- life may beat them down--

but love doesn't give up on people.
Love doesn't stop trusting.
Love never loses hope.
Love never quits.

It is so easy to have a happy marriage when things are going great in life. When all of your bills are paid, when everyone is healthy, when peace is flowing through your home...

but when the going gets tough- when there isn't enough money in the bank account to pay your electric bill.... when someone is sick... when fear is overwhelming your home.. this is when we have to WORK at our marriages to make sure our vows still hold true.

The traditional wedding vows state:

"I, ___, take you, ___, for my lawful wife/husband, to have and to hold from this day forward, for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and health, until death do us part." "I, ___, take you, ___, to be my husband/wife"

But so many times we get focused on the better, richer, and healthy parts that we forget that sometimes our marriages are going to face the worse, poorer, and sickness parts as well-- and our marriages need us to hold on for the ride. Our spouses need us to hold on for the ride.

My husband and I have been married for 7 years this year- and I'll be honest, some days it feels like we have seen more of the worse part of marriage than the better. We have been through a lot in those 7 years and we often find ourselves saying 'if we didn't have bad luck, we wouldn't have any luck at all.' There have been times I would say we both have considered tossing in the towel... waving the white flag and surrendering to life. It wasn't because we didn't love each other-- it was because life was so overwhelming that we were losing sight of the love we have for each other. We would have to step back and fight for our marriage-- fight to overcome to the difficult circumstances-- fight to not blame each other for difficult times-- fight to hold our relationship together and face the situation head on.

I read a blog while studying these verses entitled, "5 Essentials for a Thriving Marriage During Difficulties" by Marquis. (LINK) 

First was PRAYER.

This is the main thing that should continually be involved in our marriages. Prayer with each other. Pray about the circumstances. Prayer over our attitudes. Prayer of protection of our relationship. Prayer over our spouses. Prayer that we would remember our love for each other-- even when it seems easy to attack one another. Often times, we can't take our anger out on bills unpaid. We can't take our anger out on a sickness attacking us or a relative-- so we find it easier to attack the one person closest to us. This can only damage our relationship. Prayer can heal it.

Second was COMMUNICATION.

Keep an honest line of communication open, especially during difficult times. Your spouse was given to you as a helpmate-- and holding things in can only create an overwhelming amount of bitterness in your spouse and an overwhelming burden on your shoulders. Be honest about your fears-- your concerns--- the weight on your shoulders. Find a moment to talk without distractions or without having to rush. 

Third was SUPPORT.

Be each other's best friend-- ESPECIALLY during difficult times. Try to make them laugh. Bring home a small surprise, even if it's a $.97 card. Stay up late watching movies. Have a date night out. Pick up a hobby together. Spend time with each other. Be best friends. Love each other and be there for each other.

Fourth was REST.

Do things to relieve the stress of your current circumstances. Are you struggling in the financial department? That's alright! A walk through the woods holding hands doesn't cost any money. Are you struggling in the health department? Cuddles in bed with a great movie can still be a relaxing, peaceful moment. Do you want to spend a little money? Go find a suite with a hot tub and spend the evening together. Only have a couple hours without the children? Go check out a movie- sit down at a restaurant- walk around town. Whatever it takes to take time for yourselves. Your relationship deserves it and needs it.

Fifth was FAITH.

Have faith that God Almighty WILL provide what your relationship needs whether it is a financial blessing, a spiritual blessing, a physical blessing. Have faith in God that He has your relationship in His hands. Have faith that He is working everything out for your good. Trust Him with that faith.

All of these work together during difficult times to help us keep a positive attitude-- one that doesn't destroy what God has joined together.

The Bible continually reveals how to have a healthy relationship-- one that thrives and benefits our spirits.

Ephesians 5:25 says, "Husbands, love your wives the same as Christ loved the church and gave his life for it."

Husbands, love your wives. Please, love them. Even during the struggles of this life. I think one of the hardest times of our lives has been when we first started having children. I don't think we argued more than those first years- we were learning so much about each other, so much about being parents. It was overwhelming at times and we honestly could have lost sight of why we fell in love with each other in the first place....

But my goodness, my husband kept loving me. Loved me through my hormone changes during pregnancy. Loved me when I gained weight and had self confidence issues. Loved me when I was exhausted and tired. Loved me when I struggled with anxiety. He loved me. And I truly believe love is what got us through the hard times... and will continue to get us through hard times.

1 Corinthians 7:3 says, " The husband should give his wife what she deserves as his wife. And the wife should give her husband what he deserves as her husband."

Caring for our husbands and wives in every area is crucial to having a satisfying, long lasting marriage. This means caring for our spouse spiritually, emotionally, physically, sexually, financially. Taking care of every area of their life-- that is our mission in this life and something we cannot take lightly. Oftentimes marriages begin to crumble when spouse becomes too preoccupied with other matters-- they begin to neglect their spouse. Remember why you fell in love with him or her in the first place. What made your heart beat faster? What made you want to keep seeing them? Don't forget this- and don't forget to emit it every single day.

I'll be honest- I would say the most trying time in our marriage has been when our daughter was diagnosed with non-verbal Autism. According to an article in the Sage Journals, "Hartley and colleagues (2010) found, in a smaller convenience sample, that 23.5% of parents of children with autism divorced...." Of course, this might sound like a small number, but this means that 1 in 5 marriages where a child has an autism diagnosis typically ends in a divorce. The Sage Journals states, "This can be a product of changing expectations regarding the care and development of the child with autism, the child’s difficult-to-manage behavior, juggling often hectic therapy schedules, financial challenges, and battling with schools and insurance companies to obtain appropriate care....." 

We dealt with so many scary and frustrating situations- especially during the initial diagnosis. I battled with anger towards God. I was bitter and didn't understand why He would want to leave her in this situation. I was mad at myself-- fearful that I didn't do something right, didn't take her to the doctor earlier. We were stressed out because we had to switch insurance companies, take her to therapy appointment after therapy appointment, go to doctor's appointments, complete evaluations that sometimes took hours. Our daughter was diagnosed in January 2015, at 3 years old. And at that point- we also had an almost 2-year old and a 3-month old. It was overwhelming... exhausting... and it began to take a toll on our marriage.

But one night I remember laying in bed talking and my husband said, 'Our love is worth sticking together during this. Remember that. Even on the bad days when we are falling apart, our love is worth sticking together through this." And that's what we did. Of course, we had our arguments. Stress ate away at our souls for a period of time.. but here we are 2 years after the diagnosis... still loving, still pushing forward.

We have been through a lot in our 7 years of marriage, but I am so thankful that God Almighty continually reminds us about 1 Corinthians 13.

Love never gives up on people.
Love never stops trusting.
Love never loses hope.
Love never quits.

Even when it seems easier to give up.
Even when it seems easier to stop trusting God.
Even when it seems easier to lose hope and let go.
Even when it seems easier to quit.

Love holds on.

Today, think back to when you first met your spouse. Where did you meet? What initially attracted you to your spouse? What did you fall in love with about them? What made you want to continue dating them? What made you want to marry them? 

And then ask yourself- have you lost sight of that? Have you forgotten why they stole your heart in the first place?

I would love to hear your thoughts in the comments! I would love to hear your love story- where you met, who asked who out, why you initially liked your spouse, why you wanted to marry them.... I would love to hear it! 

Don't lose sight of your love for them today. I know life can be tough-- especially when you are going through changes. Especially when the bills aren't paid. Especially when you don't know how you're going to put food on the table. Especially when someone is sick. Especially when a life changing situation is occuring. I know. But remember that God gave you your spouse to help you through it... bless you through it.... He didn't give them to you as a metaphorical punching bag... someone to take your frustration and stress out on. He gave them to you to love.. and for them to love you back and help you through the hard times.

Love never gives up on people.
Love never stops trusting.
Love never loses hope.
Love never quits.

Love is Never Happy When Others Do Wrong...

1 Corinthians 13:6 says, 'Love is never happy when others do wrong, but it is always happy with the truth." 

While reading this verse, one thing I felt God talking to me about was being an honest friend. 

So many times we encounter situations where honesty would create a God-filled atmosphere, but we often find it easier to be quiet than to disrupt a situation or friendship. 

Love is not happy when others do wrong.
Love is not being content when we see our friends making harmful decisions. 

The Word of God lists many verses about our job to protect one another in this life.

1 Thessalonians 5:11 says, "So encourage each other and help each other grow stronger in faith, just as you are already doing." (ERV)

We are called to encourage other to grow stronger in faith...
Not encourage other to fall into the pit of anger, idolatry, adultery, bitterness, envy, doing shameful things...

I went through a really difficult time in my life at the beginning of this year. I'm going to be as transparent as I can right now and tell you there were weeks I was going through 7-8 bottles of wine.. alone. I was combating anxiety and hypochondria by being drunk every single night. There was one night I remember being so drunk, I passed out in front of the master bedroom door. I woke up to my then 3-year old screaming for me to wake up and saying 'Mommy please don't die.' I was falling apart... and my husband and children were falling apart along with me. I had close friends that loved me through it, but also didn't sugar coat my situation. They didn't tell me 'Oh, it's okay-- keep doing what you're doing.' They sat me down and were honest- told me I needed to get help. 

They didn't watch me crumble and fall into a pit of sin... and leave me there. They didn't rejoice in the path I was walking down..

They told me the truth. They helped me see the way out.

They never left my side-
but they didn't accept the way I was handling my emotions and mental health.

Most of the times, when our friends are falling into the pit of sin-- it is because their spirits are crushed because of some situation or circumstance. Psalms 82:4 says, "Help those who are poor and helpless. Save them from those who are evil." (ERV) I felt helpless earlier this year-- and as I previously said, most of the time when our friends are filling their lives with harmful activities, it is because they are hurting. We are not called to escalate their harmful activities.. we ARE called to love them and save them from evil! We are called to chase after the needy-- those trying to fill these voids with ways that don't lift up the Lord-- and we are called to save them. To love them. To encourage them. To be there for them. To point them in a healthy direction.

We are called by God-- when He picked our friends-- when He put us in the circumstances to meet our friends-- He called us to protect them and love them and cherish them.

Luke 4:18-19 says, "“The Spirit of the Lord is on me. He has chosen me to tell good news to the poor. He sent me to tell prisoners that they are free and to tell the blind that they can see again.
He sent me to free those who have been treated badly and to announce that the time has come for the Lord to show His kindness." (ERV)

If the Spirit of the Lord is in you--- let it work through you. Help your friends to be free of the things that bind them. Help them to break loose from the chains of this life. Help them to see and feel the love of God.

Love does not rejoice when others do wrong.
Love is happy with the truth.

Love your friends enough to protect them today.
Love them enough to shield them from the pain of this world.
Love them enough to be honest with them.
Love them enough to fight hell for them.
Love them enough to encourage them in faith.
Love them enough to stand up for them.

Love them. Purely and wholly. 

19  

Love Does Not Remember Wrongs.

1 Corinthians 13:5 says, "Love is not rude, it is not selfish, and it cannot be made angry easily. Love does not remember wrongs done against it." (ERV)

Love does not remember wrongs done against it.

Forgiveness-- true forgiveness. 


How many of us can honestly and openly admit that we remember wrongs done against us? Especially by our spouse? How many of us could sit here and write a book about the things they have done and said? And how many of us use that as ammo during another argument? We hold onto it for future reference... 

I'll go ahead and raise my hand. BEEN THERE.

And reading this verse-- I realize once again, the kind of love I have emitted towards my husband. A love that does, indeed, keep track of wrongs.

While studying for this blog, I came across a quote that said- "When someone is trying to change their ways, the worst thing you can do is keep bringing up the past." This applies to all relationships, but especially with our spouses. 

If something happened during your relationship, parties apologized, and both people decided to move on from the situation and grow from it-- the worst thing you can do- the most devastating thing you can do- is remind your significant other of their indiscretions. The worst and most devastating thing you can do is continually hold onto them and use these situations later on down the road.

In Matthew chapter 18, we read about how to handle situations when someone hurts us. Verse 21 states, "Then Peter came to Jesus and asked, “Lord, when someone won’t stop doing wrong to me, how many times must I forgive them? Seven times? Jesus answered, “I tell you, you must forgive them more than seven times. You must continue to forgive them even if they do wrong to you seventy-seven times. And then Jesus told a great parable that I want to share with all of you-

So God’s kingdom is like a king who decided to collect the money his servants owed him. The king began to collect his money. One servant owed him several thousand pounds[f] of silver.  He was not able to pay the money to his master, the king. So the master ordered that he and everything he owned be sold, even his wife and children. The money would be used to pay the king what the servant owed.

“But the servant fell on his knees and begged, ‘Be patient with me. I will pay you everything I owe.’ The master felt sorry for him. So he told the servant he did not have to pay. He let him go free.

 “Later, that same servant found another servant who owed him a hundred silver coins. He grabbed him around the neck and said, ‘Pay me the money you owe me!’ “The other servant fell on his knees and begged him, ‘Be patient with me. I will pay you everything I owe.’

“But the first servant refused to be patient. He told the judge that the other servant owed him money, and that servant was put in jail until he could pay everything he owed. All the other servants saw what happened. They felt very sorry for the man. So they went and told their master everything that happened.

“Then the master called his servant in and said, ‘You evil servant. You begged me to forgive your debt, and I said you did not have to pay anything! So you should have given that other man who serves with you the same mercy I gave you.’ The master was very angry, so he put the servant in jail to be punished. And he had to stay in jail until he could pay everything he owed.

“This king did the same as my heavenly Father will do to you. You must forgive your brother or sister with all your heart, or my heavenly Father will not forgive you.”

At times, we assume that God Almighty will be immensely merciful towards us. We want Him to offer forgiveness, forget the sins we have committed, and let us be free in Christ. BUT----- how dare someone cross us? How dare someone hurt us? How dare someone say something bad about us? And then we hold grudges... we remember the wrongs... we are fake to the person's face while still holding on to the situation...

We expect God's forgiveness...
but we do not freely give it.

This is like saying we are 'better than God Almighty.' He is capable of forgiveness-- but not us. We won't give it as freely as He does.... 

We determine the worth of the person.. the worth of the relationship.. by how freely we offer forgiveness.

One thing we must remember is this: 

Forgiveness is a choice.
Not keeping track of wrongs is a choice.

Megyn Blanchard once stated, "Forgiveness is a "greater understanding" that does not occur instantaneously. It is the end result of a choice to not be held hostage by self-judgment or resentment towards another and to begin a healing process. True forgiveness, therefore, requires intention, attention, and time. 

Forgiveness (and letting that indiscretion go) will not happen over night at times. It may take time-- but relationships are worth that and your soul is worth it. Holding on to wrongs done against you-- it will eat you alive. Bitterness will kill your beautiful soul. A Bantu Proverb once stated, "The bitter heart will eat it's owner..." 

What kind of heart do we want to have?

Now- please know that I am not saying that we must be doormats to others-- and I am not saying that we should trust everyone and have perfect relationships with everyone. There are some people who are toxic and God understands if we keep our distance from them. Some people only bring pain and their own agenda. God understands this.

It isn't asking for us to trust everyone.
It isn't asking for us to be best friends with everyone.

He wants us to guard our spirits.

Which means guarding our spirits from toxic individuals
and guarding our spirits from bitterness and holding on to wrongs done against us.

We can offer forgiveness.. we can cleanse our hearts of the anger... we can loose the grudges...

And then we can move on with our lives, without restoring a broken relationship.

We can love others without having a relationship with them. We can love them because they have a soul that Jesus Christ desires to commune with. We can love them because they're a human being that has probably went through some terrible things in their lives. 

We can love them. We can offer forgiveness. We can stop holding grudges. And that doesn't mean that what the other person did is right. It just means that we are exhibiting the love of Christ. We are LOVING OURSELVES enough to NOT let bitterness and anger and spite destroy the spirit Jesus Christ is longing to give us. 

He wants us to sleep good at night.
He wants us to be free of the burdens of this life.
He wants our spirits to feel light- not bearing the weight of the past.

But we have to work at it.

It does take time, but my goodness-- how worth it!

Our spouses deserve forgiveness.
Our friends deserve forgiveness.
Our children deserve forgiveness.
Our parents deserve forgiveness.

If we deserve forgiveness by Jesus Christ, they deserve forgiveness from us.

Be willing to let go of the past today.
Be willing to set your soul free from keeping track of the wrongs done against you.

You'll be surprised how alive you feel after.

I love you all.