In our Bible study this week, we discussed 'gossip.'
The first thing we talked about is: what is gossip?
I think we came to the consensus that gossip is speaking something unfavorable about another person- idle talk or rumors, especially about the personal or private affairs of others. Michelle gave us all some papers she printed off that said, "Other terms in the Bible for gossip include: backbiter, busybody, slanderer, secrets, talebearer, and whisperers. A biblical definition of gossip would be to spread rumors or secrets, speak about someone maliciously behind their back or repeat something about someone else that you have no right to repeat." "If you aren't part of the problem or the solution, it's gossip."
We read in Relevant magazine that the allure of gossip is being able to taste that you are not the most screwed up person you know. It is a way of dealing with our own insecurities. A writer said in the magazine- if you wouldn't say it to the person's face who is the subject of your gossip, do not talk about it.
The paper Michelle shared also included Bible verses concerning Gossip, Secrets, Slanderers, and Talebearers.
Leviticus 19:16: Never gossip. Never endanger your neighbor’s life. I am the Lord. (GW Version)
Proverbs 11:13: Whoever gossips gives away secrets, but whoever is trustworthy in spirit can keep a secret (GW Version)
Proverbs 20:19: Whoever goes around as a gossip tells secrets. Do not associate with a person whose mouth is always open.
Proverbs 26:20-22: Without wood a fire goes out, and without gossip a quarrel dies down. As charcoal fuels burning coals and wood fuels fire, so a quarrelsome person fuels a dispute. The words of a gossip are swallowed greedily, and they go down into a person’s innermost being.
Jeremiah 6:28: They are all vicious rebels. They go around slandering. They are all like bronze and iron. They corrupt themselves.
Jeremiah 9:4: Beware of your neighbors. Don’t trust your relatives. Every relative cheats. Every neighbor goes around slandering.
Psalms 41:7: When someone comes to visit me, he speaks without sincerity. His heart stores up malice; when he leaves, he gossips. (Nabre)
Proverbs 25:23: Gossip brings anger just as surely as the north wind brings rain. (GNT)
Romans 1:28-32: And because they thought it was worthless to acknowledge God, God allowed their own immoral minds to control them. So they do these indecent things. 29 Their lives are filled with all kinds of sexual sins, wickedness, and greed. They are mean. They are filled with envy, murder, quarreling, deceit, and viciousness. They are gossips, 30 slanderers, haters of God, haughty, arrogant, and boastful. They think up new ways to be cruel. They don’t obey their parents, 31 don’t have any sense, don’t keep promises, and don’t show love to their own families or mercy to others. 32 Although they know God’s judgment that those who do such things deserve to die, they not only do these things but also approve of others who do them.
2 Corinthians 12:20: I’m afraid that I may come and find you different from what I want you to be, and that you may find me different from what you want me to be. I’m afraid that there may be rivalry, jealousy, hot tempers, selfish ambition, slander, gossip, arrogance, and disorderly conduct.
1 Timothy 3:9-11: 9 They must have clear consciences about possessing the mystery of the Christian faith. 10 First, a person must be evaluated. Then, if he has a good reputation, he may become a deacon. Their wives must also be of good character. They must not be gossips, but they must control their tempers and be trustworthy in every way.
1 Timothy 5:13-14: At the same time, they learn to go around from house to house since they have nothing else to do. Not only this, but they also gossip and get involved in other people’s business, saying things they shouldn’t say.
14 So I want younger widows to marry, have children, manage their homes, and not give the enemy any chance to ridicule them.
2 Timothy 3:1-5: You must understand this: In the last days there will be violent periods of time. 2 People will be selfish and love money. They will brag, be arrogant, and use abusive language. They will curse their parents, show no gratitude, have no respect for what is holy, 3 and lack normal affection for their families. They will refuse to make peace with anyone. They will be slanderous, lack self-control, be brutal, and have no love for what is good. 4 They will be traitors. They will be reckless and conceited. They will love pleasure rather than God. 5 They will appear to have a godly life, but they will not let its power change them. Stay away from such people.
Titus 2:2-3: Tell older men to be sober. Tell them to be men of good character, to use good judgment, and to be well-grounded in faith, love, and endurance. Tell older women to live their lives in a way that shows they are dedicated to God. Tell them not to be gossips or addicted to alcohol, but to be examples of virtue.
The paper also stated to avoid gossip we should follow these steps:
1. Do not associate yourself with one who is a known gossip
2. When someone starts to gossip- change the subject
3. If you are not part of the problem or part of the solution, stay out of it
4. If you have fallen into the bad habit of gossiping, ask God to change your heart
5. When you have been the victim of gossip- confront the person that spread the rumor
James chapter 3 was another scripture passage we discussed.
In the same way the tongue is a small part of the body, but it can brag about doing important things. A large forest can be set on fire by a little flame. 6 The tongue is that kind of flame. It is a world of evil among the parts of our bodies, and it completely contaminates our bodies. The tongue sets our lives on fire, and is itself set on fire from hell. 7 People have tamed all kinds of animals, birds, reptiles, and sea creatures. 8 Yet, no one can tame the tongue. It is an uncontrollable evil filled with deadly poison. 9 With our tongues we praise our Lord and Father. Yet, with the same tongues we curse people, who were created in God’s likeness. 10 Praise and curses come from the same mouth. My brothers and sisters, this should not happen!
We discussed how heartbreaking it is that we praise Jesus Christ but then we turn around and talk about the people He took His precious time creating. It is sad to think about. He worked hard on them-- regardless of the situation-- and He calls us to pray for them and love them. Not downgrade them or talk bad about them.
Matthew 15:18: But the things that come out of your mouth—your curses, your fears, your denunciations—these come from your heart, and it is the stirrings of your heart that can make you unclean. (Voice Version)
We discussed that whatever is in your heart, will come out of your mouth. So the question is-- what are we filling our heart with? Are we full of bitterness, jealousy, anger, lust, hate? Or are we full of kindness, faith, love, joy, peace? Whatever we are feeding our souls will proceed out of our mouths. What are we feeding our soul today?? We will know by our words.
Proverbs 18:21: Words kill, words give life; they’re either poison or fruit—you choose.
Will we use our words to uplift others? Speak life?
Will we use our words to destroy others? Tear down their reputation?
Ephesians 4:29: Don’t say anything that would hurt another person. Instead, speak only what is good so that you can give help wherever it is needed. That way, what you say will help those who hear you.
2 Timothy 2:16: Avoid pointless discussions. People who pay attention to these pointless discussions will become more ungodly,
Proverbs 16:28: A devious person spreads quarrels. A gossip separates the closest of friends.
Gossip is no good! It causes hard feelings and comes between friends.
We read a few quotes as well concerning gossip:
"Gossip dies when it enters the ears of the wise."
"Gossips are worse than thieves because they steal another person's dignity, honest reputation, and credibility, which are impossible to restore. So remember this: when your feet slip, you can always recover your balance, but when your tongue slips, you cannot recover your words."
"Nothing will bring you greater peace than minding your own business."
"How would your life be different if you walked away from gossip and verbal defamation? Let today be the day you speak only the good you know of other people and encourage others to do the same."
We also talked about the fact that words are SO SO important.
In Matthew 12:37 we read:
“You serpent’s brood, how can you say anything good out of your evil hearts? For a man’s words depend on what fills his heart. A good man gives out good—from the goodness stored in his heart; a bad man gives out evil—from his store of evil. I tell you that men will have to answer at the day of judgment for every careless word they utter—for it is your words that will acquit you, and your words that will condemn you.”
We will have to answer for every careless word we uttered on judgment day. If God cares enough to want us to take account of our words- they must be VERY important.
We ended the Bible study by discussing the fact that we have all gossiped or will gossip. We are never going to find perfection-- but we can strive to be better. We can pray that God will touch our hearts and help us to recognize dangerous discussions. We thought that if we were mindful of our discussions-- if we took time to think before speaking-- God would see how hard we are trying to be pleasing in His eyes. Thankfully we have His mercy to lean on. He is forgiving of our human nature as long as we ask for it.
Matthew 9:13 says, "I am not here to attend to people who are already right with God; I am here to attend to sinners. In the book of the prophet Hosea, we read, “It is not sacrifice I want, but mercy.” Go and meditate on that for a while—maybe you’ll come to understand it."
God isn't here for perfection. He isn't here for perfect people. He is here for people who are trying- people who need forgiveness-- people who need mercy. He loves us right where we are-- and it is His desire that we ask for forgiveness, clean our hearts, and move on to be better people than we were the day before.
We ended the study with 2 verses to keep in the forefront of our minds during our every day life:
Psalms 19:14: I hope my words and thoughts please you. Lord, you are my Rock, the one who saves me. (ICB)
Colossians 3:17: Whatever you do, whether in speech or action, do it all in the name of the Lord Jesus and give thanks to God the Father through him. (CEB)
Whatever we do in speech... do it in the name of Jesus.
I hope my words are pleasing to You, Lord.
These should be our prayers every single day
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